Foolish Games
by kuroren23
Summary: Songfic.They fulfilled their goals and now it was time to part ways. Can they say goodbye to each other and find the strength to let go? SOUL x MAKA


Author's Note: REPOSTED. Soul Eater isn't mine. I wish but, no dice. Now this is a songfic although normally i try not to write one--this song is just begging to be written, especially for this pair. SO please, indulge me, since it helped ease off my writer's block. My eternal thanks to Jewel's song. It truly inspires and stirs even the most hardened of the hearts. Written from first person POV. Indulge my mushiness. It doesn't come that often. -kuroren23

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**FOOLISH GAMES**

**SOUL**

_**You took your coat off and stood in the rain.**_

_**You're always crazy like that.**_

_**I watched from my window, **_

_**always felt I was outside looking in on you.**_

The day you managed to fulfill that childish promise we made all those years ago I knew that everything else would change. You were always certain, always so sure that you could do it, that we could do the impossible—together. That no enemy could stand in the way of making our dreams come true. And just like everything else we've done together—even in the face of certain death and impossible odds—you were right. No one stood against us—no one could. You became the Angel of Death—one of the most powerful Meister to ever be born. And you did it—with smiles, a few laughs and a whole lot of tears. Tears you never wanted me to see…tears you never shed in front of me even you shed them for me…

I remember that day…the day I finally became what we both yearned to be—a completed weapon. It wasn't sunny nor was it all that blustery…just a gloomy day that seemed such a contrast to the joy that should be sweeping inside us. It rained that day and I had to stay back for a briefing with Shinigami-sama. This marked the first time I would be summoned without you. I am no longer another weapon. I am now a Death Scythe.

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**MAKA**

_**You were always the mysterious one with**_

_**dark eyes and careless hair you were**_

_**fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.**_

_**You stood in my doorway, you got nothin' to say**_

_**besides some comment on the weather**_

I have never yearned for anything in my life as I have yearned to complete you. I was broken when I found you. For the longest time I assumed that I would stay that way…_too damaged to ever know completion. _And I was fine with that. I was prepared to wait for someone to come and find me_. For someone to need me_. I was afraid of needing anything else…because I feared nothing more than having to need someone else…I was prepared to wait, no matter how long it took to find the one heart that would want mine in return…just so that I could be certain they will not break me…

And then I found you…or maybe I should say your music found me…your dark music…your dark seductive, untamed music that forces others to recognize boundaries…a music that you once told me was a lure for one and a deterrent for all the others. There was an feral quality to the music that your fingers created…beautifully contrasted against the delicate touch you accorded the piano keys…the music that poured from your soul was wild—troubled…shattered and stained even more so than mine.

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**SOUL**

_**Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see.**_

_**This is my heart, bleeding before you.**_

_**This is me down on my knees.**_

_**And these foolish games are tearing me apart.**_

_**And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.**_

_**Breaking my heart...**_

The idea of not having you around…of not having to share this moment of triumph with you felt…wrong somehow…the idea that being a completed weapon meant that you were no longer my Meister but rather His made my stomach churn in agitation. I waited for you to yell…_to say that they had no right—that HE had no right to take me away_. But you didn't say a single word. You waved to me goodbye and proceeded out of the room without a backward glance, never knowing how badly I wanted to walk out with you…to say the words that ha been hovering at the edge of my tongue since the day you danced with me inside my soul-room.

I curved the urge to speak. It wasn't my place to question the traditions of being a Death Scythe. You knew more than anyone how much fulfilling that particular dream meant to me. I couldn't –wouldn't open my lips so that I could hurt you—so that I could give voice to my uncertainties and throw away this once-impossible gift in your face. I will never—could never tell you that all I felt in those first few moments was regret…I wouldn't speak even when I realized that by becoming a Scythe I took my first step away from you. I never thought the day would come when I would resent being what I have yearned for all those years…I refused to believe that your absence caused me so much pain…I would be brave…I would make you proud…and so I threw myself into the task given to me…the task we worked hard for me to achieve…I wanted you to be proud of what I had become…I wanted to you see what you and I have accomplished—together.

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**MAKA**

_**You're always brilliant in the morning**_

_**You're smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.**_

_**Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you, do you love Mozart?**_

_**And you speak of your loved ones as I clumsily strum my guitar.**_

There has always been a kind of beauty in those harsh, jarring notes…acceptance and honesty where I expected none…I listened to the music you created to keep everyone away and wondered if you weren't just as wary and damaged as I was. If you weren't yearning as I was…

When you asked for my hand, I knew that it was tantamount to a devil asking for my soul. Had I any sense left, maybe I would have hesitated a bit…had I been any smarter, I would not have chosen such a temperamental partner whose rages could burn in their icy depths…had I any sense of self-preservation I would have walked away and ignored the twinges in my heart when I saw crimson colored eyes stare back at me with frank assessment and fathomless truth…

But I gave you my hand. I allowed you to look into me and see beyond the façade created by my famous sires. I allowed you to strip me bare of pretensions and defenses until I was standing all but naked in front your dark gaze, clothed in nothing more substantial than my soul and my scars. I wouldn't have wondered if you had turned and walked away. But you didn't. You opened the doors into your soul and allowed me a sanctuary from my relentless days…you gave me the cool anonymity of darkness and wooed me with the lullabies you spun out of shadows and moonlight. All that you asked in return was that I fulfill your dreams.

And now I have done that. There is nothing else left for me to do…there is no longer any need for me in your world…and so no matter how painful it is—no matter how much I wish I didn't have to—I had to let you go…because it would've been next to impossible for me to keep you…

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**SOUL**

_**Well excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else.**_

_**Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.**_

I found what I wanted in you…someone who has need of me…someone who will not chain me…who will look beyond my scars and demand nothing from me that I could not or would not give…And yet…all throughout, you never allowed me to walk into your soul…never tried to cross the threshold from my truth into yours…and though I yearned for your words…yearned to be allowed to show you my truth, you never asked for it…and now I am left wondering if I ever knew you at all…

Here I am now…finally free of the ties that bound us as one...waiting still…waiting for something I know I will never have…waiting for you to see that you haven't as yet…given me your hand in return for mine. I wish you could see…I wish you would see what I want…what I have always wanted…I wish you could understand that what I wanted the most what you…

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**MAKA**

_**And these foolish games are tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart.**_

_**And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart...**_

_**You're breaking my heart.**_

I stood in the rain outside the academy…hoping that no one would see me…I couldn't deal with the pain that being away from you has brought me…I fulfilled my task. You had no further need for me because I already gave you what you have longed for...what you dreamed of all those years we were together. I completed you.

I only wished that you gave me my freedom as well…knowing all too well that after all this time, I have been too caught up to realize the truth…there would be no freedom for me…_not without you_…I gave you your dream and now I am left with nothing but my memories of you...I wish I could find it in me to resent you but I couldn't...knowing I would have sold my soul to make it come true...and yet...I wish you could hear my calls just as clearly as I have heard yours...I wish I could have what you have found...completion with you.

**SOUL**

I found her. Standing beside the piano that started it all. I knew she would be here. Just like I have always known. I pulled her into my arms and brush a soft kiss across rain-dampened lips.

_**You took your coat off and stood in the rain.**_

_**You're always crazy like that.**_


End file.
